sorry. the last post was written after finding out that laura was ignoring me on purpose because i have done things lately that have let her down and upset her. for those of you that don't know the situation, laura and i were best friends in high school, and lived together for two years until this past august. i decided to move in with my friend jackie when laura and i were fighting for ridiculous reasons...mainly due to roommate stress. so rather than break up a friendship, i decided to remove that stress by living with someone else. laura was obviously upset about it, but i figured it would be better in the long run. well, since we moved out, i didn't spend all that much time over at laura's new apartment. i have been extremely busy at work...sometimes going in on the weekends, and a couple of times i stayed all night (til 6am) working on projects. we cut back some more people at work, so my workload has been doubled. i haven't gone
anywhere, including spending any time with creed, who i am supposedly dating. i even went a week and a half without going over to his place. so i don't know if she took it personally, but i have just been busy. the past couple of times i actually had free time, i called her to do something, go out, whatever, because i missed her...and my calls were never returned. the only time i saw her was when she was in my building, visiting someone else, and she came over to borrow shot glasses, and then left. then there was the computer incident, which i think is what pissed her off the most. she came over one night to use my computer...for what, i didn't know...so i emailed her and asked if next time she came over, if she could at least ask me before using it...the last time i let people use my computer, i went away for the weekend and came back to an error that said "error loading explorer.exe. must reinstall windows"...and i wound replacing half the things in my computer. yeah. i wasn't too happy. so to avoid that, i started monitoring who used it for what. so i didn't think that request was too much to ask. apparently laura thought it was, and wrote me back saying that was a really bitchy thing to say, and that all she needed it for was to email her prof. yeah, i wouldn't have said no...the point was that i felt like i should know who was using my computer for what. regardless of how small a task...but since then, laura hasn't talked to me. i have called, emailed, and nothing. i hear from other people and tonight, on her
website that she was pissed at me. so that gives you some background on what the hell that last post was all about. i have comments for this reason...so people...tell me what you think i should/shouldn't have done. it would be good to know if i have been a complete asshole, and then i will apologize. but i am clueless. i can't think of what i could have done to upset her this much, to the point she feels she needs to avoid me like the plague. and then to post it on her website to the world, where she knows i read it, rather than personally tell me. that bothers me. but enough venting about that. enough already.
retarded. laura, for someone who talks about hating how people don't confront you with their problems, you are a hypocrite. i have repeatedly tried to contact you, and rather than talk to me and tell me you actually had a problem in person or on the phone, you ignore me, don't ever call me back (for the record i have called you three times in the past week and a half...leaving messages every time and you never returned any of my phone calls), and instead, i have to read on your
website of all places that you are "in a bit of a riff" with me. what the hell? what have i done to you to deserve this sort of treatment? the only thing i can think of that pissed you off recently was when i asked if you could ask me next time before you came over to use my computer. a request that i thought, since the last time i just let people use my computer whenever they needed to, i wound up replacing everything because mysteriously my computer crashed beyond the point of fixing, was legitimate. i have found that i need to monitor people on my computer so that it doesn't get broken as often. but if that is what you are pissed off at, that's sad. and if that's not what you are pissed off at, for god's sake, don't let me have to read it on your website to find out. i thought i deserved better than that. apparently, you think i don't. so i am going to play this game, and let you read on my
website what i think. since actually talking to you on the phone or in person isn't an option. what i could have done to you, to the point where you feel the need to cut me out of your life, is beyond me. and it makes me very sad. but that was the point, wasn't it? i miss you, and i tried to get in touch with you...but if i am just going to be ignored every time, i am not going to be one of those people you have to screen for on your caller id. that's bullshit. of all the times i have helped you out, i don't know what i could have done short of killing your family to have you avoid me. it hurts. it hurts that i have become one of those friends you have to 'screen' for. so tell me. i am interested to know what i did to lose a friend for.
this weekend was actually pretty fun...i spent friday night with andrew, nick, molly, christy (from case) and andrea...we went to the off-track betting place in jackson, and i actually won money on some races! it was pretty fun...then we all minus nick went back to molly's place...it was a good ole time...i ended up staying there til about 3:30am...then i had to get up bright and early to go see creed's band play at hot shots...i was running super late cause i got up late, but they didn't end up going on til about 2:30...and they were really good! way better than any of the recordings i had heard. plus i got to hear a couple of new songs...not bad...not bad at all :) then creed ditched me to hang out with his friends...i was sort of mad...but not entirely...his friend martin had come down from saginaw...and last time he came down, creed ended up hanging out with me and staying over...so i felt bad...if i went to go visit one of my friends that i never see, and we wound up at her boyfriends house and stayed the night rather than hang out...i would be pretty pissed...so instead, i hung out with my sister til 3am...i am so happy she is only a block away...it rules having her so close :) anyway, i am about to go grab food with andrew, so i'll be back later...jackie has been gone all weekend to get fitted for bridesmaid dresses, so hopefully she will be around tonight too...she might even bring vince back with her! now that would make my day :) alright, time to get some food...i'm starving! :)
well i finally fixed the images. for some reason, i can't get the webserver to work on my computer. i can see the images, but not from anywhere other than my own computer. i think at&t might have some sort of block on the cable modem...so i just started ftp'ing the images to hoochifyd.net :) so for anyone that has that image linked...it's now at www.hoochifyd.net/Timage.jpg :) for those of you that have written me saying you can't use the scroll arrows...they weren't working because they don't work until everything on the page loads. since the images weren't working for the webcam, they were taking forever to load, hence the arrows wouldn't work for a long time. but now that those work, you should have no problem! let me know if you still can't see anything though.
is anyone else having a problem viewing my webcam pictures? at work, i can never see them, and i don't know if it is my computer, the cable modem, or my firewall at work. so drop me a line, and let me know whether or not you have seen any in the past couple of days... :( tomorrow is the
high divide action...jackie took off for the weekend to get fitted for bridesmaid dresses...she won't be back til probably sunday...i'll probably hang out with my sister this weekend...laura is apparently avoiding me. i don't know why...but whatever. i have called a bunch of times, and to no avail. we have changed the date of the jungle juice party to friday night, the 12th...jack has something to do on saturday night, so hopefully she will have recuperated by then :) it's gonna be a blast, and everyone is invited. i haven't really told anyone about it yet...since we just decided on the date last night. :) so pretty soon, i'll send out an email and start calling people. next weekend is the MSU vs. UofM cold war game. should be really fun! alright, time to get back to work :)
today is starting good! i finished most of my projects at work...and tap class is tonight! i can't wait...i am kind of disappointed in the class...it's more "showy" than rhythm oriented...we do more wings, turns, and exaggerated moves than we do complicated footwork...not a big fan of the wings...i love doing combinations that don't even require music. when you can get good enough to make music just by tapping out rhythms...aww yeah...makes me happy...i am hoping that the music we pick out isn't totally cheesy or too little kid-ish...i want to be proud that i am in the dance...anyway, i think i find out tonight what song she plans on using for the recital...we have to start choreographing the routine, otherwise we won't have enough time to practice...i can't believe i am in a recital again...
update:
high divide isn't playing tomorrow night...just on saturday afternoon...so to all of you who are going to be around this weekend...and to all of those who i haven't seen in a while, i hope you can make it out...either to that or just out in general...the band plays at noon..so that leaves the rest of the day to do whatever...hopefully i can catch up with most of you...if not, we are throwing a party for jackie's birthday on the 13 of october...it's gonna be a jungle juice party...and it's going to be lots of fun...we just decided on the date...when it gets closer, i will remind people...we have to celebrate now that jackie isn't a teenager anymore! :) alright, i should head to bed...i found a really good idea for a new layout for the site...nothing that i am going to put up soon...i am not sure if i like it for the whole layout for the site...so maybe just the pictures or something...anyway, i'll keep you updated :) as always...
it's getting mighty busy here at work...but that is a good thing :) i have had zero time for a social life....but this weekend looks promising...creed's band
high divide plays tomorrow night at 9pm, and again on saturday at noon at hot shots bar in lansing. it kind of sucks that they start at noon, since it's so early...but they are playing for a benefit for the NYC firefighters...but i still plan on going...i actually like their music. you can hear a couple of their songs on their website...so check em out :) tonight marc's coming over...there is a scandal between keith and him due to keith not paying the finger's rent for the summer...it sucks. i think marc might be calling keith's parents soon...which will definately cause trouble...so that should be interesting...alright..back to being busy at work...laura, i haven't heard from you in a while...are you just super busy or are you ignoring me? i've called you and no answer...emailed and no answer...hmmm...i know you read this from bessey...where for art thou? CALL ME. :)
looking through my old pilot emails...wow are they funny...kinda sad in some...i read one from adam a couple of days after our orientation...and how he thought i was a "tough chick" when he first met me...ha! i think he knows better now :) and then there were some from laura from her senior year in high school when she had her juno account :) made me kind of sad...i still have the one where she was yelling at me about finding out about dru and i...and then there were some from andrew a couple days after we first met...making our first plans to watch south park and play pool...hehe...ah, the good ole days :) so much has changed...and so much hasn't. crazy.
oops. i forgot to wish andrew a happy birthday on my site last night...so here it is today, a day late: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW! :) we celebrated last night at the bar...it was fun, with me, molly, nick, andrew, marc and bryan...we were going to go karaoke afterwards, but by that time, i needed to get to bed to make sure i was up on time for work today...now for the important news: we are getting a new bathtub! woohoo! ours was so gross...with mildew, caulk, and just general grossness...and we complained so much that they finally agreed to replace the whole thing...it was so bad, the tiles were coming off...i tried cleaning the thing, and i could push the tiles
into the wall...blech. but now they are coming today...and we get a nice, shiny new tub! :) i had to stash poor bailey in my room, so that he wouldn't bother the workers...he was being super cute this morning, and i felt bad locking him up...but he is in the lap of luxury in my room...a full size bed, a huge window, his food, cat litter...he's got it made :) alright, time to get to work...unlike some of the cooler people, i actually have to work today (yeah, that's you creed) :)
i can't believe it. he actually took it off. alright creed, i will link back to you...he had put a bunch of pictures that displayed naked chics all over the place...and i told him since he put porn on his site, i wouldn't tell anyone to go there anymore. and he actually took it off. i'm flattered. i didn't think my opinion mattered that much...so
here ya go :) now your site rocks again :)
I FIXED THE TOILET! yay internet. and yay me. no more running toilet. thank god.
last night was creed's 27th birthday. at first, it sounded like that was really old. but in reality, he was a senior in high school when i was a freshman. which means, he's only at most, four years older than me. which means...hey wait...i'm old! i guess 23 isn't that old...but it just seems old when i think about where i was 10 years ago...anyway, last night i got wasted in his honor...a six pack of woodchuck and 8 shots of captain's later, i was passed out on the floor of the living room. i was a trooper though, and i stayed awake pretty late...needless to say this morning i was recovering...and my body was pretty pissed off. but i haven't drank in a while...not to that extent...so creed, i hope you appreciated that :) anyway, next weekend his band
high divide plays at hot shots bar in lansing...we'll see if i make it to that...i really want to see them play...i missed their first performance at a party about a month ago...so now i have to make up for it...coming up soon is the "cold war" game where MSU plays UofM in hockey at spartan stadium, rather than in the munn ice arena...so should be a really fun time...i can't wait...alright, back to being internet girl :)
finally! some new pictures!! you have to scroll to the bottom...but for those of you waiting to see the pics of john creed...
tada! :) i also added new bailey pictures, and pictures of my sister's
kittens...they are adorable!! so if you bored, check em out. sorry sween, no bachlorette or wedding pictures yet. i have the bachlorette ones done, i just have to put them in place...and i still have the wedding ones to crop, resize, etc...bleh. but you'll love em! i swear! they aren't the greatest quality...i'm warning you right now...someone *cough*laura*cough* saved them from my camera as 'gifs' without consulting me first...so they are really grainy...but still in ok condition...good for website, but bad for photo quality...anyway, within the next couple of days, i swear! :) alright, i need to get some sleep...creed's birthday is friday...and the electronic music fest is saturday...it's gonna be a really fun weekend...i can't wait!
WHEW....i finally have a chance to slow down...the server is currently down at work...so while i wait for it to get back up...i can lave my project that was supposed to be done on friday alone...*sigh* i have been working day and night literally on it...i got four hours of sleep and an hour nap yesterday...and last night i got about an hour...sunday night was ridiculous...i was at work past midnight, and i went to go the bathroom, which is in the hallway outside of our office...well i forgot that the doors automatically lock after midnight...and developer badges (mine) don't work from 12-6am...so meanwhile, my purse, my apartment keys, my wallet, even my glasses were still sitting on my desk...in the locked office. the only thing i had with me were my car keys and my phone, thank god. so i went to case and slept at andrew's til 4am, when i thought the office reopened. nope. so i then finally got a hold of jackie, and i drove to her boyfriend's to pick up her apartment key so that i could at least go home til 6am when the office reopened. so then i stayed in the office all day...took an hour nap in the afternoon, and then stayed at work til 6:30 this morning. then i went home and came back in for work at 9am...needless to say, i'm exhausted. but i slacked off last week due to the attack and all...so i have been scrambling to catch up to finish this project. it looks like once the server is up, i can finish it by the end of work today...god i can't wait. then it is sleep for me! ....creed's birthday is this friday too...he is having a work party after work that day...and then hanging out with his friends from saginaw on saturday...i got him a good present, but it won't be here til the 2nd of october...i hope he likes it :) alright...time for a short nap... :)
sitting here alone at work. creed didn't feel up to doing anything tonight. so though i haven't seen him since friday, i won't see him til tomorrow morning. bleh. so much for getting some snuggle time in. none for me. :(
yeah i suck. no pictures, no posts. oops. well i at least was a little productive this weekend. last night, i went to the bar with laura and corinne...i felt sick the whole time...then i woke up at 6am with a massive headache, ready to puke...i didn't even drink that much...so i decided i needed to get off laura's couch and get into my own bed...then my sister came over with the kittens and i took some good pics of them..they are adorable! then i went into work for a little bit, and now i am just relaxing...my body is pissed off at me for some reason...besides, it's about time i got those pics online...so my computer and i are sharing some quality time tonight...plus i am gonna do some work from home...even though i forgot the task list at the office...so tomorrow i am gonna have to spend a long night/day at the office...woohoo...:( that's what i get for putting off my work til the last minute...bleh...
this site was really touching. it shows support from people all over the world for the u.s. during this tragedy.
last night i had another tap class...and it was actually fun! i got to meet the actual teacher..and i liked her a lot better...but we were actually taught by a girl around my age...she played some more recent music...it was a good ole time :) that class is going to whip me into shape...45 minutes of jumping around...it's all leg work! i am dripping with sweat by the end...today we are supposed to wear red white and blue...i busted out the red and white "tremaine" dance convention shirt...and blue jeans. i am so patriotic :) this weekend i have no plans...i have a TON of work to do...so i might actually just come into work on saturday...but we'll see...now i'm off to enjoy my bagel :)
the reason creed gives for not wanting a cat is eerily similar to our relationship. having a cat would make moving harder, and he is just not sure he really wants one just yet. he's been saying he wants a cat for years now...but he is still just on his own. that definition followed with a half-assed excuse about not wanting to torture me with his sister's wedding...(i was going to go this weekend, but he never really decided if that would be a good idea, since he doesn't like weddings, so he doesn't want to put anyone else through it)...i feel like he wants a girlfriend...and he really likes me...but he isn't ready to give up being on his own and only having to worry about himself. i think i may have even caught a few "i love you"'s from him under some influences...i don't take that lightly...i am head over heels for that boy. he is an amazing person to me...for so many reasons. i could just let him go, and chalk it up to me not wanting to wait around for him to make up his mind...but that would be a lie. i
do want to wait for him to make up his mind. i am pretty sure, that once he is ready to commit to someone, he would be the wonderful person that he is and more...and to me, it's worth the wait. we are on the verge of being in a completely serious relationship...just on the brink...hopefully some night we will get into a mood where we just stay up and talk...it's hard to have those kind of nights with him...i tried one once...but it led nowhere...i asked him if he had ever said 'i love you' before...and he kind of played it off lightly by responding 'i don't know...ummm...i don't know...have you?' and when i said yeah...he said 'other than your parents?'...and i said yeah...and then there was no response...and that was the end of that...sad attempt at a long talk...we are retarded. i have such a hard time bringing up the things that bother me...or that i want to know about him...and when i finally work up the nerve...he doesn't respond, or gives me indirect answers...so if i could just get one good night in there, to talk to him...ask him what his plans for his life are...i don't even know if he ever wants to get married someday...not to me...just in general...*sigh*...enough venting...i make him sound like an idiot...he is really wonderful to me...and i'm falling in love with the boy...head over heels...obviously, otherwise this stuff wouldn't bother me so much...i actually think things will work themselves out...they always have before...i really care about him though...and i'm not ready to walk away...i'm not giving up on him yet...
til my body is dust - til my soul is no more - i will love you, love you - til the sun starts to cry - and the moon turns to rust - i will love you, love you - but i need to know - will you stay for all time - forever and a day - then i'll give my heart - til the end of our time - forever and a day - and i need to know - will you stay for all time - forever and a day - then i'll give my heart - til the end of our time - forever and a day - til the starts fill my eyes - and we touch the last time - i will love you, love you -
fisher :)
good stuff.
whew...that was long day yesterday...we got the day off of work because no one was getting anything done...so i walked down to creed's house and we watched the never ending news coverage on the towers...then i developed symptoms of a lovely infection...one which i won't discuss on here because it's gross...but after going to the doctor today, i found out i had two infections...double gross. but all will be fine in about three days...blech. anyway, i feel much better today...i was in horrible pain all day yesterday...but now i am feelin good...i might take a trip to the humane society tonight after work to check out some possible bailey buddies :) he is going crazy not having anyone around all day...with jackie in class and me at work...and then sometimes not having either of us around at night...poor little guy...i wish i could take him with me whenever i went somewhere...but instead it is time he had a friend :) i'm not getting one tonight, but i am now on the lookout :) oh how fun it is to be a cat lover...
most up to date headlines are here...no time to post...if you are readint this and you don't know what is going on...check out that site....about to go to war, i think...wow.
this morning has been way busy at work...all this work, and i might have to stay late...*sigh* but after this week, i don't really have anything lined up...so then i could spend some time updating the photos on my site...i have promised sween pictures from her wedding would be up two months ago...now that my computer is in tip top shape, i am ready to attempt to put them all up...i need to take pictures of our new apartment, as well as put up pictures of the infamous creed :) i actually have a couple of good ones to put up, and i am trying to get him to scan my favorite one of him in a tux at his friend's wedding...it's pretty cute...anyway, tonight marc said he's gonna stop by with his girlfriend...woohoo! should be interesting :)
well, i forgot the camera to take pictures of the kittens...but my sister is definitely keeping one of them...her name is chloe...she's pretty cute...but they are looking for a home for the other kitty...i was going to mention them to creed, but i haven't talked to him since friday, and he isn't back from saginaw yet...hopefully i will get to talk to him tonight...but i don't know what happened to him...anyway, tomorrow starts another super long work week...but i started tap class last thursday! it was really fun to dance again...but no one in my class is my age...they are all either around the 15 year old age...or a mother and an old woman. kind of sucks. but i'm sticking with the class...i miss tap that much, plus it's a form of exercise once a week...can't beat that...if i am in a recital, i am debating whether or not to tell people when it is...might be a little embarrassing...but we'll see...*sigh*...feeling a little *bleh*...i think cause it's sunday night and my simpsons date hasn't called yet...and it the show was over an hour ago...waiting sucks...
back from detroit with jackie...friday was the b-52's concert that i decided to go to last minute...and it was super fun :) then saturday, nicole needed jackie to go bridesmaid dress shopping...so for five hours, we drove all around...the dress that everyone agreed on was the best was really pretty...a two-piece with little flowers beaded along the top...nicole decided her colors were black and white...very elegant...but then i started thinking about what i would want for my wedding..it is crazy expensive! way more than i realized...i then decided that unless my huge debt dwindles some, and unless my husband has more money than me, our wedding is gonna be super small. but after thinking about it, it didn't seem all that unappealing. then i started to get a little scared with myself, so i quit thinking about it. i'm not ready for marriage. no way in hell. i can't even get myself into a serious relationship properly...and i want to live the single life thoroughly before worrying about the size of my wedding...it's fun to think about...but definitely not dwell on...anyway, now i'm back and i am about to go visit my sister...they found some stray kittens, and apparently my sister is keeping one of them. so i am on my way to go fall in love with them :) i'll take pictures so ya'll will know how cute they are ;)
whew! it's friday! this week has been super busy...but a good one...got a lot done at work...and tonight is the B-52's concert...nicole and stan and jackie and i are going at pine knob...originally, i had planned to tailgate on saturday morning, but everyone (except andrew) backed out on me with other plans...so when i told them i wasn't tailgating, they said they had an extra ticket...we'll be back tomorrow afternoon..so then i will have the rest of the weekend to do nothing :) i really need to get those pictures from sween's wedding and other random ones online...there are some good ones of creed...who, by the way, for everyone that has asked me, is now really my "boyfriend" :) we pretty much had been for a long time...but yeah, i can really call him that now :) ooo yeah, it's a good day :)
soooo sleepy...i need coffee...up too early :(
whew! i got through my first meeting today :) i haven't ever gone on site to a client's place for a meeting...they have always come here for something informal...so i had to get all decked out...which made me realize i really need to shop for some business clothes. letting me wear t-shirts and jeans every day to work has been awesome...but when days like this come around, i have nothing to wear! but money is scarse right now...so the clothes aren't a priority..bills and bills and more bills are my first concern. i have some bounced checks i need to take care of and some payments *cough*car*cough* that have my utmost attention. bleh. being a grown up sucks. :)
this weekend was pretty fun. danielle's party on sunday went really well...three 40's of bud light got me pretty wasted...at about the second one, i was feeling really good :) laura and keith and zophie showed up...that made me pretty happy...and creed and his friend martin biked on over all the way from lansing...martin was pretty funny...granted, he did spill beer all over me at lunch, but it was only beer :) he wound up passed out on my hallway floor at about two...i wasn't up much longer than that...and then woke up bright and early for no reason...most of yesterday was spent recuperating...but now all is better...but i woke up this morning with a voicemail from laura...she sounds pretty upset, so i'll have to find out what is wrong...but hopefully it is nothing serious...anyway, i'm swamped with work...busy busy!
well, laura never called me back last night, so i just chilled with my sister in her new house with stephanie..it was fun...i even ran into heather while i was buying beer for my sister :) so now i want to go find her and go visit her sometime this week...tonight my sister is having a big party at her house...but it can't be that big, becuase they aren't getting a keg...they fear the guys down the street will come on down and drink it all...anyway, creed is going, and a couple of other people i invited...laura won't, cause she has to work at 9am tomorrow...it sucks...now that she is working, we are on totally opposite schedules...i have my weekends free...and that's when she works...hopefully she will still come out tonight though...well, off to get ready for the day...at 3:00!! :) i love weekends :)
crazy. PETA is going after some guy who put an amazingly disturbing video on his site. he didn't make the video, rather, someone sent it to him, and he posted it. i tried to watch it, and had to rush to turn it off...it was so bad. in the first five seconds, a kitten gets his skull smashed with a frying pan, and his head cut off. the rest of the video shows him getting skinned and eaten. apparently, it was shot in another country, where people eat cats. i guess i know why i can't eat cats. my whole day was ruined because of this video...and i won't link to it because i hated it so much. it was AWFUL. i can email it to you, if you really really want to see it...but PETA is blaming this guy...i don't think he should get in trouble. he didn't make the video. and it is not an illegal thing to do. it's like if someone took a camera to the slaughterhouse. yeah, it is disturbing. and i couldn't handle the poor little kitty getting slaughtered. i almost cried. anyway, now that it ruined my day, i am going to the mall. i need to go to radio shack to get a new splitter for our cable modem. apparently, the signal isn't strong enough after we split it twice. that's bullshit, because you should be able to split it more than that without any problems...so we'll see what we can do...otherwise, jackie and i might be without cable in our rooms...which would SUCK. yeah...i need quality time with bailey now after watching that video...poor little kitty...
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