We're getting ready to take off for the holidays this year... we'll be in Michigan for the Christmas celebration and then we're back up to New York for the New Year. 11 days of vacation, woohoo! We just got hit with the craziest snowstorm for DC... the official count is 16.4 inches! It's the worst we've ever had for a December storm, and #6 of the top ten worst storms EVER! Crazy! So we were able to stay in and get a LOT of housework done before we jump ship :) And of course, get cute photos of Ben :)

Speaking of the ship, we've been dealing with neighbor drama for almost two years now, and it really just needs to stop. Warning: this is a long story, but I just need to vent about the whole situation.

We live in the upper part of a townhome, after previously living in a one bedroom basement apartment of a townhome around the corner (same complex). Having been a basement apartment dweller, we are aware that you can hear your neighbors above you, and pretty much just chalk it up to one of the drawbacks of living in the basement. These buildings were not built that well (in my opinion), and they really didn't consider the noise filter between the upper and lower units. That said, we never, NEVER complained to the people above us that they were being too loud. Especially if it was due to their just living normally in their apartment. So we were really taken aback when someone new moved in below us and started to complain about our noise. And yes, the people that lived above us when we were basement dwellers had multiple parties, and had a dog that was even bigger than Lily. We still never complained.

Maybe I should start at the beginning. We moved into our current upstairs place in 2006, almost four years ago. Previous to the current basement resident, we met the downstairs renter and they were really nice. Never complained about us at all, and was quite friendly. But they moved, and enter new person. Immediately, we see she had posted a note on her trash can about not throwing dog poop in her can. So someone (probably one of the 101 dog walkers we see in our neighborhood) had obviously used her can to toss their dog waste. But I immediately felt defensive, and I told Joe that I bet she thinks it was our dog. But whatever, it wasn't us, and being a responsible pooper scooper, I always scoop and put it in our own can because I appreciate how disgusting it is when it's not your dog. But I had suspicion that they already had a grudge against us for that "offense".

Then came the floor pounding. Before even knowing her name, our neighbor downstairs made it blatently aware that whatever we were doing (read: nothing) was disturbing her, and she proceeded to let us know by pounding on her ceiling. Hello, neighbor, nice to meet you too. Now, if that were me, I wouldn't assume that my upstairs neighbors were TRYING to be loud... they probably had no IDEA that they were bothering me. So rather than be RUDE, I'd probably make a trip upstairs to give them the benefit of the doubt, and let them know that I can actually hear most things that go on in the apartment, and if it was anything that they could help. But ok, that's not her style. Strike number two for us. And I should mention, the ceiling pounds came at daylight hours... we're not talking about 2am wild parties here. And this was pre-baby, so we weren't even up before 8am most mornings, especially weekends.

Then came the Sunday afternoon visit. Joe was listening to music on his computer in the living room, and I went out to walk the dog. Now, when I left, the music was not loud... I could carry on a conversation with Joe without yelling, in the same room. It was 2pm on a Sunday. I came back, and the music was off, and Joe told me that our neighbor had paid him a visit, upset that we didn't seem to realize that she lived below us and could hear us. Um, what? It's Sunday afternoon. Seriously? But ok, I wanted to talk to her directly, so I knocked on her door, and apologized. I let her know that we were not in any way trying to annoy her on purpose, that to us the music was completely acceptable (and I should also note, with our windows open you could NOT even hear the music from the street). But that obviously it bothered her, so we'd try all we could to minimize the disturbance. She seemed ok with that, and I gave her my cell phone number to alert me if we started being too loud in the future. So I really tried to be nice, and we really did try to minimize our noise after that. I even wrote her before we had a big party for the Super Bowl, to warn her that we might be louder than usual, and that she was welcome to come up. She didn't stop by, but I was still making an effort to be nice.

Then came President's day weekend. We had visitors in from out of town, and they have small kids (a 5yr old, 3yr old, and 15m old). So yes, unfortunately they are early risers, it comes with the kiddo territory. BUT... they were only here for the weekend, and it was still not obnoxiously early. At 9am Saturday morning, we were talking in the kitchen, and I get the call from our neighbor downstairs. She requested that we not be talking in the kitchen this early. Um, if anyone knows the layout of our apartment, there's the living room, and kitchen, but it's one big open space, so there's really no place for us to go. BUT, I apologized and let her know that we had people in from out of town. We tried to be as quiet as possible, but like I said, it's one big room, and I'm not about to not talk to my friends that just drove 7 hours to be here just so someone can sleep late on the weekend. Especially for just ONE weekend, it's not like these were permanent guests.

Fast forward to Sunday night... our guests were still here because the Monday was President's Day, and so they were staying an extra night and leaving the following morning. We were watching movies around 10pm, and our friends were getting up to get snacks, drinks, etc from the fridge. I get a call from our neighbor that we are being loud, can we not WALK in the kitchen. Um, what? Now I can't walk in our own kitchen? Seriously? BUT, I told our friends to limit their travels, and when they reacted with surprise, I told them that we need to be considerate, and we do have to make compromises since we do have neighbors that live below us.

But then at 6am the next morning, my friend brought her 15m old downstairs to watch a video, since that's his normal waking time. She tried to keep him quiet, but then when he had to have his diaper changed, he let out a wail (typical 15m old behavior). My neighbor apparently has had enough at this point, and pounds on the ceiling, scaring us and the baby. Now, I finally lost it. After defending her ridiculous behavior and complaints, I stomped back on the floor, and that was the last straw for me. If she couldn't meet me half way and realize that there are sounds we can NOT control (aka walking normally and LIVING normally in our apartment), then I was no longer playing nice guy and trying to limit our activity. She made it clear she wasn't compromising even for one weekend, even for a BABY CRYING... so that was it. I was done.

So a few months later, Joe starts having a busier schedule, and his normal work ending time pushes later and later. We move eating an already late dinner together from 8pm to 9pm... leaving me to do the dishes around 10pm. So after two nights of running the dishwasher at 10pm, I get a phone call from our neighbor asking us if we could please not run it at that time, since that's her bedtime (and no, she's not an 80yr old woman, she's a young girl in her late 20's), and her room is right below the kitchen. Now, if this had been BEFORE the President's Day weekend nonsense, I would have been more than happy to move it to the next morning... but I'd had enough. So I ignore her calls... and the 3rd night she knocks on my door. She asks if I had gotten her voicemails about not running the dishwasher, and I told her I had. She asked if I could please not run it, and I said flatly, no. She was suprised, and tried to figure out why on earth I couldn't wait, and at first I tried giving excuses about needing the dishes for the morning (half true), etc... and when she sarcastically offered to buy me extra dishes, I lost it. She argued that we live in a "community" and that we need to be respectful of other people's schedules. I had to stifle a laugh because I could have said those exact words right back to her. Joe obviously did not have her same work schedule, so shouldn't she mind her own words and be considerate of our schedule? (seriously, what if I was a nurse working midnights or something?) I finally told her that since she had not been willing to compromise, neither was I, and that I could not help that she could hear us. That I was sorry, but she was going to have to put up with hearing us living above her. She left in a huff, and mumbled that she "would see what she had to put up with".

Things were quiet for a while... I found out I was pregnant and actually laughed that if she thought we were loud NOW, wait until we have a screaming infant that needs to be fed at 2am. If she thought I was going to tiptoe around while he's wailing, she was dreaming. But after Ben was born, he was actually a very good baby, and we didn't have too many 2am screaming matches (lucky them)... but he was (and still is) an early riser, which means early (often before 6am) trips to the kitchen to make his breakfast.

Then we had Ben's baptism party, which started after the 9am mass on a Sunday in June. We had people over (about 15) and one of the kids was playing with a ball in the living room. All of a sudden we felt a familiar "boom boom" on the floor, and it was our friendly neighbor reminding us by pounding on her ceiling that she still hated us. So we apologized to our guests who were really taken aback by the noise, and just laughed it off.

Now, if you haven't noticed, I'm fairly involved with online communities, and yes, I have a twitter account. I am always searching for nearby people I know, and low and behold, I stumbled across our neighbor downstairs, and her twitter account. And why, look there, her boyfriend that lives with her (we think he moved in after the dishwasher episode) has one, too. I saw that they commented when they were out of town, so I began watching their feeds to see if a) they complained about us and b) when they were leaving so we didn't have to hold our breath when the dog ran after her ball too loudly in the living room. I'd laugh at the ridiculous things they would complain about, but mostly it was harmless chatter. Until last month, when "the boyfriend" complained that he should nominate us for Biggest Loser because we are both "obese" and walk like Godzilla through Tokyo, waking him up before 6am. At first I laughed, but then I couldn't let it go. I replied to his tweet that, again, it was NOT our fault that they lived in the crappy basement apartment, and yes, feeding a baby before 6am trumped giving a shit about the downstairs assholes (in shorter, twitter conversation, of course) :) Silly? Absolutely. Petty, probably. Immature, definitely, but I never said I didn't have my moments of weakness :) But so was his comment.

So that's where we stand. He watches my tweets, and still complains about us being too noisy. I'm sure Ben's jumping in his jumper and Lily chasing toys really sets them off. They still just can't fathom that we have every right to LIVE and WALK in our apartment. That it's not our fault that this place was built poorly. Honestly, if it really bothers them that much, they really need to live in a place that doesn't have upstairs neighbors, and let someone else less sensitive enjoy their space (like the person before them). It's not our weight... I won't claim to not have some extra baggage left over from my pregnancy, but I'm only 5'1 and certainly not obese by any means. If they can hear us WALKING and just a ball bouncing, I don't care how much you weigh, you shouldn't be able to hear that level of noise from the upstairs apartment. Again, not our fault, and we are NOT going to tiptoe around our own house, during NORMAL DAYLIGHT hours, just because they can hear us. And do we have 2am parties, and blare our music constantly? No. Of course not. That's what is so ridiculous. Everything they've complained about is from normal living. And Ben isn't even walking yet. :)

By the way, look out neighbors... you think WE walk loudly... you haven't heard anything until you've heard an 18 month old barreling around. Soft isn't in their vocabulary, and I'm not about to restrain him in his own house.

But as much as I am annoyed by their ridiculousness, I really wish we could have gone about this in a different way. I am not a hating kind of person... and I was really hoping we could have called a truce and figured out a way to make things civil for both sides. But I'm pretty sure we're passed that point, and I don't get the impression that it's their way of handling issues. Oh well... some day one of us will move and we'll both have peace again. I will say that I avoid laundry and the dishwasher after 10pm... I'm not TRYING to piss them off. Too bad I can't say the same thing about them.

Ok, off to dinner (yes, it's 9pm)... and back to making neighbors crabby!

In the meantime, Ben's about to start walking, so I hope the neighbors enjoy the "peace" they have now :)

posted at 9:36 PM ~ comments (1)