carrie's first pregnancy

While I still remember, I always joked with my friends who had kids about how they block out the bad parts of their labor and delivery stay, because otherwise you'd never go through it again to have more kids ;) So just so I don't get selective amnesia, while my recovery was pretty good, there were a few things that did not go well that I wish I could have changed. And for those out there reading this, I hope you can learn something from my experience!

For starters, obviously the formula supplementation in the hospital... before they even let me latch Ben, they had a bottle in his mouth. I wish I had written NO bottles on a birth plan, and regardless of their attempt to scare me with blood sugar numbers, I wish I would have stuck to our plan to exclusively breastfeed. Then there was the nausea for the next two days... I could barely keep water and saltines down after my surgery. I'd be holding Ben and then get the sudden urge to vomit (which was a side effect of the anesthesia). Not so easy to do when you are holding an infant in bed and even coughing/sneezing hurts, let alone hurling your guts out. They finally gave me some anti-nausea meds so that I could hydrate better (I still had the IV in at this point). And the IV... which they couldn't find a good vein for, so they pricked me about 4 times, and even then it kept coming out of my hand. I had a bruise for at least a week after I left the hospital from where it was inserted. I had not done a lot of research on recovering from c-sections, so even though I knew the basics, I wasn't prepared for the amount of tenderness and soreness that I felt ABOVE the incision... I still can not wear any pants with a waistband (even my sweatpants and maternity pants). They put pressure in that area and it feels like a huge bruise, not even close to the scar. I'm reminded that my insides WERE jiggled and prodded like no tomorrow, so of course I will be sore... I just hope that it goes away before I need to return to work, or my clothes situation will be interesting :)

Other than those, my stay was fairly decent and the pain was manageable. I managed to get sleep during the day with baby, but it wasn't until my last day that one of the nurses told me that the reason I had to keep "reminding" the nurses about my pain meds was because they were not on a schedule, I was SUPPOSED to request them each time I needed them. Doh. Had I known that, I would have been keeping my own schedule and not relying on the nurses to come every four hours. *sigh*

So overall a good stay, but definitely not perfect ;)

2 weeks 2 days old

Posted by carrie at 9:40 PM | Permalink | Comments

I swear I fall more in love every day :)

2 weeks 1 day old

Posted by carrie at 9:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

When it rains, it pours! If my car problems weren't bad enough last week (although a battery problem isn't really that bad)... last night Joe got a severe toothache, and nothing (Orajel, Ibuprofen, Aleve, etc) would take away the pain. He couldn't sleep it hurt so bad, so he finally downed some NyQuil and passed out about 2am. He saw the dentist this morning, and had to have an emergency root canal... woohoo for spending $500 while out on unpaid maternity leave. *sigh* But there was no living with that kind of pain, so I'm glad he got treated... but how's that for a nice first day back at work for ya? Poor guy... hopefully the rest of the week goes better...

2 weeks 1 day old

Posted by carrie at 7:37 PM | Permalink | Comments

Ben had his two week doctor appointment this morning, and he's looking great! He's normal in all his tests, and gaining weight like a champ. He's almost to his birth weight, weighing in at 11 lbs 5 oz this morning, and he grew an inch and a half and is now 22.5 inches :) So he's still in the 95th percentile for weight and height... the nurse practioner says he's going to be a "daddy #2" :) I'm just really happy he's super healthy. My next doctor appointment is on Wednesday, and then Ben's next one is at the 2 month mark on 2/16. I'll be back to work by then, and I can't wait to see how he's doing! So far so good!

My mom arrived this morning, and Joe goes back to work tomorrow... pretty soon it will just be Ben and I during the day. I'll try and post more photos today, but I'm behind on getting out the thank you cards and announcements I have left, so those are priority today. Hopefully I can get it all done! It's amazing how much time eating and sleeping can take up in a baby's day! :)

2 weeks old

Posted by carrie at 11:45 AM | Permalink | Comments

Ben will be two weeks old tomorrow, if you can believe it! Time has been going by so fast... since I'm getting up every 2-3 hours, the days and nights sort of run together, and I had a hard time remembering what day of the week it was yesterday. Things have been going fairly well... I'm still working on the breastfeeding, and while Benjamin still won't latch, we're supplementing him with formula while I'm pumping and taking supplements to help my supply increase. So that once he does decide (or if he decides) to take a liking to breastfeeding, I'll be ready. It's been very hard, and not without emotion, but I'm still holding out hope that all will work itself out. The lactation consultant said it was "flow preference"... where he has accustomed himself to getting a fast flow from a bottle and refuses to work with me at all anymore. He's pretty stubborn, but hopefully not absolute. But on the bright side, he's still at least getting *some* breastmilk in his diet.

In other news, I'm going up and down the stairs without too much pain now, so I'm no longer feeling like a prisoner upstairs. We also got my car fixed, and it turned out to thankfully JUST be a bad battery. When I went into labor, my parents tried to use my car so that Joe wouldn't have to shuttle them back and forth from the hospital, but it wouldn't start. So I was panicked that when Joe returned to work on Tuesday, we'd be down to one car. But all is well and running smoothly.

We've had a few visitors... Scottie and Shaaren and Ara (who is now officially a toddler, since she took her first few steps!) came last week, and Joe's aunts and cousin came on Christmas Day with food for dinner :) That was really nice, and I got confirmation that I'm not just being biased when I say we have a cute kid :) My sister and Conor are driving down from Buffalo, NY to spend one night with us tonight, and then driving back to Michigan tomorrow. Then my mom flies back in sometime tomorrow, and is staying for 1-2 weeks to help since Joe goes back to work on Tuesday. So we only had a few days all to ourselves, but it won't be long before it's just us again :)

Overall, the sleep deprivation isn't that bad, and I'm doing ok. Once I'm all alone here, I'll probably feel different, since I won't have someone to pawn him off on for a feeding or two, but for now it's ok. I don't remember what it's like to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time... and I've got a LONG while before I get to experience that again.

But he's worth it ;) I've been taking more photos, and we also have been working on downloading the videos off our video camera, that Joe took in the hospital and on Christmas Day. I'm hoping to get some DVDs burned to send up to our parents, but video files are HUGE and they take a long time to render and edit. Especially since my laptop is fast, but I don't have nearly the space I need (80gb is not nearly enough) and it just wasn't built for heavy video editing. But we'll get them done eventually! :)

1 week 6 days old

Posted by carrie at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Comments

Just while I have a quick second this morning... baby Ben and I are doing great :) My parents left yesterday evening to go back home (my mom had been here since Monday, and my Dad flew in Tuesday night), so now it's just Joe, Ben, and I for the whole week :) I came home from the hospital on Thursday afternoon, and it feels great to be in my own surroundings again. Although, I will admit it was fantastic having people there to answer my questions right away if I had them, and to make sure I'm doing everything right. Now it's all up to me, and so far I think I'm doing ok. It's been a week of ups and downs, as my hormones sometimes get the better of me. It was great having my parents here to help, but since I'm restricted to the top floor for 2 weeks (where the bathroom and bedrooms are) while my surgery scar heals, I sometimes got lonely when everyone else was downstairs playing with the baby. But now it's just he and I as Joe went out to run errands, and I'm enjoying every minute of him :)

I'm so in love with this beautiful boy, and I know it is going to be TOUGH to go back to work in February and leave him in daycare. I love the woman who will be watching him, so at least I know he is in good hands, and in time it will get easier.

For now, Ben mostly just eats and sleeps. We are still having breastfeeding issues, and I go to see the lactation consultant again this afternoon, to see if we can't get him to relatch (I am pumping to keep up my supply, so he's getting about 1/3 of breastmilk and 2/3 formula at each meal). I really hope we can get it to work out, and I didn't expect it to be this hard. But we're working on it!!

We are taking pictures like crazy, so here's just a few of our favorite ones so far:

Baby Benjamin







I'll keep updating with more, and slowly getting around to calling people back and responding to emails. So forgive me if you haven't heard from me yet... I'm still trying to get the hang of sleeping when he sleeps so that I'm not completely exhausted all the time. Joe's been wonderful with making sure I'm being taken care of, and has been doing so much around the house. He's also been doing some of the feedings and he's a pro at diaper changes and swaddling :) He's so in love with Benjamin, too, and right now we're both so happy to have this time together. So you'll hear from me soon, and I can't believe it's already been a whole week!

1 week old

Posted by carrie at 9:53 AM | Permalink | Comments

Well, I have a few minutes of down time here in the hospital, so I'll go ahead and post Benjamin's birth story :) We're both doing fine, but what a journey!

My water broke as I got off the Metro near work, and it was not a little "trickle" that I had been expecting. Everyone kept saying it wasn't a big gush like the movies... but they lied ;) So I tried not to panic as I got up to the street level so my cell phone would get a reception and called Joe with my pants SOAKED. Luckily it was actually abnormally warm in DC, so I wasn't cold. I had brought cash with me to hail a taxi in case something like this happened... but when 10 taxis all went by full, I knew I wasn't going to find an empty one during morning rush hour. So Joe drove out to get me, and we made our way to the hospital.

We checked in at 9:30, and when the doctor checked my progress, I was only 2cm dialated. But, it was still early, so we decided to walk the halls and see if we could get my contractions kick started. So we walked, and she checked me again 4 hours later... still 2cm. So she recommended that I start Pitocin, and even though I knew they would be tough contractions, I said ok, because I wanted progress. So 12:30pm we started Pitocin... and by 4pm, my contractions were a *little* stronger, but nowhere where they needed to be. And sure enough, I was still only 2cm dialated. So they upped the Pitocin again, but they were getting close to the maximum dosage. My contractions were getting stronger... but I was still able to talk through them. By 6pm, my doctor started talking c-section, but I was determined that the Pitocin was going to work, and hopefully I'd start dialating. My doctor explained though, that if baby WAS too big, even if I had strong contractions, he would simply not fit through my pelvic area, to help me dialate. But I wanted to give it a try, so she agreed to wait until 8pm, a full 12 hours after my water broke, to see if I made any progress. By 8pm, the Pitocin was at the maximum dosage, and my contractions were pretty tough. She checked my progress... and I was still at 2cm. Nothing. So I knew my time was up, and I finally agreed that c-section was the only option at this point. A few tears were shed while I let go of my disappointment that I wasn't going to deliver him naturally, but then excitement took over that I was about to meet my baby :)

So at 8:30pm, after getting an epidural and prepped for surgery, Joe and I went into the OR and there they delivered Benjamin James at 9:01pm :) No one could believe his size, and one of the doctor's commented that he was the biggest baby he had ever delivered. I couldn't believe it when they told me he weighed 11 lbs and 7 oz... I never dreamed he was that big. But he's really healthy, no jaundice, and no complications. His face was a little bruised and swollen from having been pressed up inside for so long, but it's just red, and will disappear within a few days.

So now we're both recovering... I have a bikini cut incision, but I'm able to walk around and eat normally. I took my first shower this morning, so now I feel like a human being again :) Joe took some great photos and videos and I'll have to post those if I get a chance tonight. I only got a few of them posted last night, but it gave a good idea of how massive this kid is :)

Benjamin is doing great... we're having trouble breastfeeding, but I'm working with the lactation consultant here at the hospital, so hopefully we'll get this figured out before we leave (hopefully tomorrow!).

Thanks for all the well wishes... check the family site for the photo albums and more updates as I make them! :)

2 days old

Posted by carrie at 3:50 PM | Permalink | Comments

Benjamin James arrived via c-section @ 9:01pm, weighing a whopping 11 lbs, 7 oz (hence the c-section), and 21 inches long! More to come, but we are both doing great, and I am so in love :) I'll post photos soon, but for now we're both resting after a LONG day :)

Posted by carrie at 12:19 AM | Permalink | Comments

Well, I'm finally here! My water broke on the way into work (at the Metro station no less), so I called Joe, and he came and got me. We stopped at home to get our bags and then we were off! We got to the hospital around 9:30am, and they admitted me right away. The doctor came and told me I was only 2cm dialated, so she said she would wait an hour to see how I progressed, but if my contractions were not getting more regular or helping me dialate, we might need to do Pitocin. So 4 hours later of no progress, I'm now on Pitocin, and hoping my body gets moving!

My mom is on her way from Michigan, and should be here shortly :) I'm still trying to go med-free, but the Pitocin might be more than I can handle. The doctor was also still concerned about baby's size, so hopefully I can still get through it! For now I'm just trying to relax before the contractions get too crazy!

I'll try and update again soon, but I'll definitely post once he's here! :)

39 weeks 4 days

Posted by carrie at 2:16 PM | Permalink | Comments

Well, I officially debunked the full moon theory, since I'm still here :) I did have some pretty strong contractions yesterday while I was still at work (around 3pm or so)... they were getting painful and very rhythmic. I walked home, and laid down (supposedly if you switch positions, real contractions should continue no matter what, but fake ones will stop), and they still came. So another glimmer of hope started that this actually *might* be it! But around 11:30pm they started to die down, and I knew they were not the real thing. We were bummed, but only 6 more days til my due date :) I'm still hanging in there, and he could *potentially* still come any day. So there's still hope for this weekend! My next appointment is on late Monday morning, so at least I'll get another update then, if I'm still hanging around :)

39 weeks 1 day

Posted by carrie at 6:17 AM | Permalink | Comments

Well, here I am at the last week, and I surprised myself by making it this far :) I thought for SURE this baby was coming early... but it looks like he's either going to be right on time or fashionably late. I've not had any more contractions since Tuesday night, so I've been catching up on sleep (well, still waking up to pee about 4 times a night, but better than nothing) :) It makes a HUGE difference in my mood when I can at least get *some* sleep, and I'm more inclined to tough it out and let this baby decide when he's ready rather than talk about inductions. As uncomfortable as I am, the baby is doing great in there, his heartbeat is strong, I feel him moving a ton, and all my stats are still fine (blood pressure, etc). So there's no real reason to induce him until signs start to show that he'd be better off out here. Especially since once you start the induction route, the drugs they use can actually stress the baby out (since the drug-induced contractions are MUCH stronger than normal contractions) and it's much more painful for me. This increases the chance that I'll need a c-section, if either the baby is too stressed, or the drugs simply don't work and I don't make progress. So the more I leave it to nature to do its thing, the less risk involved in general :)

So I'm still a week out, and if I make it to my last doctor appointment on the 22nd, I'll discuss it with them to decide how baby is doing, and what is in his best interest (to either wait it out another week or start talking induction). So one more week of "wait and see", and hopefully he decides to come out and meet everyone!

In other good news, tonight is the full moon and apparently it's a "strong" one, as its position is close to the earth. So if it really does have an affect on labor, tonight would be the night for it to work! Nurses in the L&D ward swear more women come in during full moons, but all the studies I've found online show there is no real impact. So we'll see tonight! ;)

In the meantime, I'm hanging in there, and trying not to take my frustrations out on Joe and the dog :) I've been trying to keep myself busy and resting when I can, and getting excited to meet baby! 7 days to go!

39 weeks

Posted by carrie at 8:30 AM | Permalink | Comments

Last night I had another round of cramps and Braxton Hicks contractions... only these were fairly strong, and were coming in waves. They started around 7pm, and at 4am I was still feeling them. They were never strong enough to start timing... only enough to keep me awake so that now I'm EXHAUSTED today. And of course, they stopped in time for my alarm to go off to get ready for work. It leaves me so frustrated and so, so tired. I can't take any days off from work because I need them for maternity leave (which is unpaid... I have to use up all sick and vacation time)... so now I just have to suffer through work today tired, swollen, and achey from all the cramping. I've had ENOUGH. If baby isn't ready to come out, that's fine... but why torture me with all this nonsense in the meantime? At least let me be able to function until he's ready!

Sorry, it's just the 2nd night in a row that I've gotten really little sleep, and I feel I have nothing to show for it. No progress, no baby, nada. My patience is wearing thin, and I just needed to vent.

Good news is, we're in single digits until my due date... if I make it that long without losing my mind!

38 weeks 5 days

Posted by carrie at 6:02 AM | Permalink | Comments

Before I pack the camera away, I took some last photos of the nursery, my enormous belly at 38 weeks, and of the bags all packed by the door. Lily cracks me up... she looks like she knows what's coming :)

Now all we need is baby!



bags all packed!





me @ 38 weeks, 3 days





finished nursery!









10 days to go, almost in the single digits!

38 weeks 4 days

Posted by carrie at 8:37 AM | Permalink | Comments

Well, good news and bad news at the doctor today. Bad news, I'm still only 1 cm dialated (which is a *slight* improvement from last week, but really not much), so it doesn't indicate anything other than I'm still on target for my due date. The good news is, the doctor said they only wait until we are 1 week overdue to induce, so if by chance he IS late, we'll still have a baby by Christmas time :) And since that's only about 16 days away, it doesn't seem like the end of the world. I was really hoping he'd come earlier so that his birthday wasn't SO close to the holiday, but it's all up to him now! :) My blood pressure and other stats are all still fine, so there is no reason to induce prior to my due date... and I'd really REALLY like to avoid that at all costs. If baby is ok in there and I'm doing fine, then I'd really prefer to let things just start on their own. But that might be out of my hands if he decides to camp out in there :)

So it's still wait and see. No more contractions since Saturday, and thankfully my leg muscle pain has all disappeared. So I can walk around without hobbling. My back will still get sore if I try to walk too far, but at least I *can* walk :) So I feel ok, just really getting anxious to meet our baby. On a positive note, it still *could* be any day... but I'm getting used to the idea that he's going to arrive right on time. My cycles were all like clockwork (28/14 days), so it would make sense if he arrived right on the 19th.

So 11 more days and counting!

38 weeks 3 days

Posted by carrie at 1:57 PM | Permalink | Comments

I can totally understand now why some women go to Labor and Delivery early, only to be sent home with "false labor" contractions. I thought real contractions and labor signs would be SO obvious, that maybe these women were just overly excited :) But I discovered your body really can fool you into thinking you are about to go into labor, but then quit. Yesterday afternoon I started getting more Braxton Hicks contractions... only these were stronger and they were radiating more around my lower back. So I got excited again, and kept waiting for them to go away, or become regular. Still no clear start/stop times, and still no "pain"... just a lot of tightness, pressure, and cramping (which are painful, but nothing I can't handle). I tried to convince myself that it wasn't true labor... so I waited... and sure enough, I go to bed last night, and this morning I'm fine again. *sigh* This baby is playing mind games with me! I'm still feeling some small cramps and lower back pain this morning, but not like yesterday, and now they are more of an "ache" than a real cramp.

So I'm still here, and we'll see if all these practice contractions helped me make any progress at my doctor's visit tomorrow. 12 days to go!

38 weeks 2 days

Posted by carrie at 6:32 AM | Permalink | Comments

Well, I'm 38 weeks today, and I'm still here :) 2 more weeks until my due date, and it looks like this little guy is going to hang on until the last second! My next doctor appointment is on Monday, so we'll see if I've made any more progress. I've been overanalyzing every single kick, spasm, cramp, etc, thinking "this is it!"... and then nothing. Last night was a big one... I was very active all afternoon as I walked around downtown to get my hair cut, and by the time I relaxed after dinner, I started getting really strong braxton hicks contractions, followed by some cramps that felt like menstrual pain. They weren't really painful, so I knew it wasn't true labor, but it got me excited that it might be the start. So I waited, and waited... and they kept going, but didn't have clear start/stop times and still weren't painful, just uncomfortable. I made it to bed by about 1 am, but didn't sleep very well, since the excitement got to me :) But low and behold, my alarm clock went off and here I am back at work for another day. No more cramps or contractions, so it was just a big false alarm. I think I'm going to drive myself crazy these last two weeks if he doesn't hurry up! No other symptoms at all, so it could still be a while before I finally go into labor.

Everything is ready though... bags are packed and waiting by the door, the petsitters came last night to pick up their keys so Lily has someone to watch over her while we are in the hospital. I turned in all of my work forms for my leave and insurance changes, and made sure everyone at work had all they needed from me. I also have cash in my wallet in case something happens at work, I can get a cab either to home and meet Joe there, or get directly to the hospital. I'm trying to keep myself busy at work but it's hard to concentrate! The baby's kicks are getting much stronger... so each time he nails me I think "oh! is this it?"... and my adrenaline picks up. I'm gonna need something else to pass the time, or I will seriously lose my mind :)

14 more days!

38 weeks

Posted by carrie at 8:38 AM | Permalink | Comments

I had my doctor's appointment today, and I'm the same as last week. So no more progress, but that's normal. Blood pressure and everything else still checks out fine, so we're still in "wait and see" mode, and I'm still on target for my due date. So those with all those early predictions, I highly doubt it will happen this week, so I'm still pulling for the 12th... but he could hang on until Christmas! No other estimates on his weight, so we're still guessing on that, too.

Overall, I feel ok, but everything is still ridiculously sore, my calves still really hurt (not cramps, more like pulled muscles). I'm still not sleeping well, and my energy level sucks. But really, I still have it pretty easy, and I am still able to walk to work each day and get stuff done around the house. That's about it though... I'm usually ready for a nap at about 2pm, and in bed by 10pm... and I still feel sluggish throughout the day.

No other updates... hopefully this week goes by fast! :) 18 days to go!

37 weeks 3 days

Posted by carrie at 1:23 PM | Permalink | Comments